Personal Phantom
Tuesday, December 6th, 2005 | Literature
Tags: ego, prose
Every time I thought I have escaped from your claws, you come back and remind me of your existence. Perhaps this is my destiny. I have lived with you for almost 10 years, and my attempt to get rid of you never ceased, but I never succeeded. In some way, you made me into the person I am today, but I am not grateful. I wish that someday I can erase you from my life and see the eternal sunshine behind those dark clouds. My eyes desire light and my heart desires freedom.
What would I be without this phantom? Would my life be better? Would my smile be brighter? Would I be more optimistic? Would my sleep be deeper and untroubled? I lay flat on my bed last night, pondering the possibilities and then the reality seemed much harder. There is no choice but to continue the battle, or the escape, until then I am still incarcerated by my personal phantom.
December 07, 2005
9:10 am on Wednesday
Very nicely written and intriguing (spelling?), but it seems rather dark. What’s this about?
December 07, 2005
11:01 am on Wednesday
It seems so ironic to me. I am writing it down here on my blog to express a fact in my life, but at same time I am trying hard to hide behind my words. I guess I am not yet ready to open myself up completely. Written words are amazing, they serve to reveal things but can also obscure our understanding.
Now regarding to your question David, I can tell you that there is something in my life that I desperately want to change, but however I have no full control of it. I made the effort, in fact I am still making the effort, but I do not make the final decision. I am sorry I can’t give you an explicit explanation at this point, but eventually you will know what I mean by this personal phantom. I promise I will keep you updated.
I guess you can say that in this post I am trying to convey the frustration that I feel everyday dealing with this phantom, and how this phantom is shaping my life and changing my view of life.
Lastly thank you again for the comment!
December 07, 2005
7:47 pm on Wednesday
Whatever your demon, your phantom, your buried secret is, all I can say is, “Wow”….. Whether you speak its name or not you are verbally confronting it’s existance. You capture your reader and envelope them. Good luck! May the force be with you………
December 07, 2005
11:29 pm on Wednesday
Thank you very much for your encouraging words, and welcome to Wooden Fish Michelle!