Blog Entry

Licking My Wounds

Honestly, such result is expected. I kind of predicted my own fate, tragic but never surprising. However, it stills hurts as if someone brutally slices my confidence away, and with a mocking and nearly sinister smile on the face. Did I finally let go the last piece of my defeated confidence? I feel naked, standing in ancient battlefield where rains of arrows shower down on me. In dead silence I scream: poisonous arrowheads, pierce me! Pierce me, so I am completely overwhelmed with pain, so I am too painful to lift my arms to wipe the salty teardrop hanging on the corners of my eyes. World is vast, but I have no refuge. Like the line in the movie The Human Stain, “You look like a free man, but you think like a slave.” Perhaps more precisely, I am a slave of my own curse. Nevertheless, my face is still motionless, I still managed to get up after the fall, but just too tired to go anywhere. If you allow me, let me be alone so I can lick my wounds in solitude.

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